Be the best you can be

One of my favorite blog I've read from Isaiah Hankel's blog.This blog is really something I can relate with because sometimes I feel that I can’t do things, when I know I can. But I also fear that everyone is watching me and once I fall everyone around me will be laughing, I don’t know. It could be something else too. I know most of my fear relate to the fact I can’t do a handstand, I don’t like falling the thought of falling. I went skydiving thinking it may be it but it’s part of it because I found some confidence.

 “Take your path seriously, but not the obstacles.

It’s not a coincidence that confident people are often ambitious and hard-hitting, yet charismatic and playful, all at once. As you generate confidence, all your little worries about looking stupid or messing up will disintegrate into nothing. Self-confidence gives you the mental flexibility you need to work tirelessly towards a goal while shrugging off problems and failures along the way.

You can do anything you want it life. If someone else has done it before, you can do it. If someone else has not done it before, you can do it. You are the greatest. Talk and act accordingly.”

I know that I am what he describes however I don’t know why I have a hard time following true. I know I can deliver I am still trying to figure out the root cause of it. It’s pretty hard to determined just because I’ve been through a lot in my life and I suppress all of them from specially the bad ones. I told someone I suppress things and she told me I am a walking time bomb. And she might be right because I have so much anger that I may just blow up one day without even knowing. That’s why I need a sports to play to there I can be crazy such as screaming, pushing bag, kicking bag and any action to release any suppressed issued I have had my entire life.

I want to say it’s sad how this came about but it’s not really to be honest. I like being hard-hitting person, I know I am not a fragile flower. I am rock, no matter how many times you throw me I won’t break, throw me in the water and I will get out of it. It may be hard but I will get myself out and learn to deal with it. There’s something I can’t seem to shake off and I don’t know what that something is.

 http://www.isaiahhankel.com/blast-the-volume-on-your-confidence-and-dont-let-anyone-dial-you-down

Internal vs External Conviction

Day 3 - Isaiah differentiates internal-conviction vs external conviction.

“An internal conviction occurs when your own reasoning mind deems a certain action as unproductive or immoral. The weight of an internal conviction is easily lifted by identifying your misstep and correcting it immediately. This type of conviction acts like a beacon, alerting your mind that you’ve done something, or are about to do something, that doesn’t agree with your personal standards. In this way, internal convictions help keep your behavior consistent with your identity. An external conviction is a judgment pressed upon you by someone else. Haters will use this type of conviction to manipulate you and hold you back from your purpose in life, often while advancing their own purpose of living. External convictions can be placed on you subtly by your friends and family members, or more forcefully by your work peers and superiors.”

“Haters push their external convictions onto others to distract themselves from their own internal convictions. It is far easier for haters to plant seeds of fear and obligation in you than it is for them to overcome their own anxieties and feelings of indebtedness.” - This definitely played a role in my life for months. I ended a long term relationship, which no longer serves nor provide growth in my life. I know I didn’t end it well; I did what I knew best at the time. But the thing is we had already been broken up, all I want was to not be associated with him at all. I felt his negativities bringing me down to my lowest. I have apologized few times and it’s the only I could do but it wasn’t enough. He wants me to suffer for what I did. For a while, I took it. I let it get to me and suffer the consequences. I can’t believe I put myself in that situation again. But one day, I have had it and just decided that his actions will no longer affect me, I felt empowered!!!

3 Reason to stop feeling guilty......

1 Guilt is a useless emotion – “Feeling bad about something you did, does not erase the fact that you did it.” I totally agree, I am not saying what I did to him was right. But it was right at the moment and it's for me to find out......right now it is serving me well. I have a lot of demon in me and I am working on it one at a time. Carrying negative emotion surly slowed me down. It was like a dark hole that keep pull me.

2. You are not a sacrificial animal. – I am so used to doing things for other people. I told my best friend. i am tired of living other people's expectations and I knew i was always the opposite of my family but i had to convert to fit in and look where it got me. Living a life of lies that I brought upon myself. but now I'm over it and I have to do me now! I’ve been in the darkness too long. I will confidently "live like a lion" by Isaiah. That being said, I am my own worst enemy because I enslave my thoughts with negativities and carry with me.

“Never offer your time and energy to someone or something as an empty sacrifice. Empty sacrifices breed resentment.” I feel like this is something I do to myself too. The empty promises to myself and to others.

3. “No one deserves a guilt trip and making someone feel guilty is pure evil. The only time other people will try and make you feel guilty is when they want something from you or when they want to feel better about themselves.” I believe this is true. To make someone feel guilty is because a person does not want to take responsibility for their own life or actions. It is much easier to put the blame on someone than to yourself, specially when you do not want to change yourself for the better.

“As soon as you recognize that you’re feeling guilty, you’ve felt guilty long enough. You’ve already served your time. Don’t let haters advance their own purpose of living by forcing their external convictions on you. Focus on moving forward and fulfilling your purpose in life.”

http://www.isaiahhankel.com/flick-jiminy-cricket-off-of-your-shoulder-and-stop-feeling-guilty

Internal and External Motivations

Second blog reading by Isaiah Hankel, “6 Healthy Ways To Hulk Smash Your Competition Into Oblivion”. After reading the first two paragraphs, something popped in my head that I am competitive. Only recently I’ve admitted it to myself and proven myself during Maximum Performance Yoga certification, Yoga for Athletes. We were practicing our teaching techniques to the class, I was in the zone doing the High Intensity Interval Training or HIIT and I loved it. I felt energized and balanced, not extremely hyped. When I enjoy something, I tend to overexert to a point of injuring myself. Yoga for Athletes seems to work to my advantage, energized and balance!

Rule 3 “The Blunt Force Trauma Technique” The 10 year rule, I’ve heard it before, it sort of discouraged me, frankly. After this blog, I found hope, now it’s just a matter of doing it/working on it/practice. Hope to accomplish things in my life, be it small or big. I may not be a master of what I am doing now but I will master myself and the rest will follow.

Rule 4 “The Loose Canon Technique.” “Increasing your risk tolerance will not only blast you ahead of your competitors, it will help you develop leadership skills and improve self-confidence.” I have been told that I take the long way but I get to my destination. I believe because I pine on it for a bit, learn and move on then do something different, which may or may not work. Now I know what she meant, I take 2 steps forward then take 1 step back when an obstacle presents itself. I’m more aware of this now than before. So props to me! “Be passionate about your goals but refuse to let your value rely on anything external.” Something I have to remember at all times, as mention yesterday I rely a lot on external motivations rather than internal motivation…. ME!!!!!

Rule 5. The Divide And Conquer Technique “All of your rivals will fall to the way side if you set your standards high enough and choose to be your own competition.” I never put it that way, to be my own competitor! This will help me to think differently and shift elsewhere.

Rule 6. The Excision Technique “The quickest way to make even your biggest competitors obsolete is to change your prizes. In other words, alter the awards, or goals, that you are aiming for in life.” I reward myself when I accomplished things even the tiniest matter. Now if I can combine rule 5 and 6, we have something awesome!

 http://www.isaiahhankel.com/6-healthy-ways-to-hulk-smash-your-competition-into-oblivion

Got Motivation???

It finally hit me, I look externally for motivation in certain aspect of my life such as, staying consistent in working out including my yoga practice and eating healthy. My best friend Cathe, introduced me to Isaiah Hankel PhD, an author, international speaker with learning disability.

His blogs are definitely motivating. I have a learning disability as well, and the struggle I go through are ridiculously challenging. But compare to the average person, it’s nothing. I see pictures and think in pictures, even writing is a battle since English is my second language and not a reader, as well. However, I absolutely improved throughout time. It can only get better from now on. 

The plan will be each day I will read Isaiah's blog and write about it. To keep my blogging going and I'm sure reading his blogs and soon his book will make me more aware of things.

 “Bloom Where You're Planted And Break Free From Life's Sticking Points” Published by: Isaiah Hankel

http://www.isaiahhankel.com/bloom-where-youre-planted-and-break-free-from-lifes-sticking-points

Life happens

This life journey hasn't been easy peasy and having setback is part of this life's adventure. It hasn't been an easy few weeks and getting back to the right state-of-mind hasn't been a stroll in the park. I am determined and persistent in to getting the life balance. Baby steps is all I need to make it happen. I've always been rushing and tackling things right then and there. I don't have enough patient because I am all about instant gratification. I must remember to always keep one foot on the ground while I go through day-by-day.

Breath

Currently doing a 21 day meditation with Osha. He's a very wise man from what i've heard from this meditaion. Most of the teaching is about breathing. Today I put it to the test and I was pretty helpful. Try holding your pee for an hour and 20 minutes of that is walking. It was an interesting experience i must say. I instantly became more aware of my surrounding while i was practicing the breathing exercise. The cold breeze caressing my face, the beautiful yellow-orange sunset then the beautiful moon that rose up after the sun down. The moon had a light blue gray color around it with some cloud spots. I am grateful for today's experience.

- Be Brilliant

Simplicity

Since my last post, I have been taking the bus to work. I must say it is a great experience, very humbling. 

God is telling me to stay humble and to remember where I came from. I came from a family of farmers, life is simple and yet extremely happy with life, even though we didn't have much then. 

Remembering as a child, I loved red delicious apples. I would savor it because I knew it was expensive. For breakfast I had rice with coffee or rice with oil and salt/bagoong. As a baby, I would ask my Aunts to just give me water with sugar since I had no milk. 

Thinking about these memories saddens me a bit because I had been excess in spending or buying things I don't really need. I guess because I didn't have everything and  I wanted everything. 

However, lately my mantras has been to live simply and happy so far I am doing well. I have no complain.

- Keep it simple

G.T.B.

I did something I am not proud of back in March after my trip to Costa Rica. I went out with a friend I met in Costa Rica and I decided to drive while intoxicated. On the upside, I am grateful I was caught before I could hurt anyone, lesson learned. Anyway, I am car-less for the next few weeks. Thankful to have families and friends who are willing to help. Blessed that I still manage to smile and laugh with all the obstacle in my life

Accepting....

Last week was touch, it was tiresome, restlessness and emotionally draining. I think it might have been the new moon shift and I can accept that. However this week has been the opposite. I have been smiling and very MerryAnnMP. I hope it stays this way. But I must learn to let go of the idea that as much as I want to always be happy, there will also times when things are difficult. I need to accept that difficulties is a passing moment, learning experience and growth. 

“As spiritual searchers we need to become freer and freer of the attachment to our own smallness in which we get occupied with me-me-me. Pondering on large ideas or standing in front of things which remind us of a vast scale can free us from acquisitiveness and competitiveness and from our likes and dislikes. If we sit with an increasing stillness of the body, and attune our mind to the sky or to the ocean or to the myriad stars at night, or any other indicators of vastness, the mind gradually stills and the heart is filled with quiet joy. Also recalling our own experiences in which we acted generously or with compassion for the simple delight of it without expectation of any gain can give us more confidence in the existence of a deeper goodness from which we may deviate.” - Ravi Ravindra

Absolutely Positive

Today was certainly positive and balance. I enjoyed it very much 

Nothing gonna stop me now

A new beginning is starting in my life so i figure i should document my growth and movement to a better and happy life.

This morning I was so focus on not worrying about making mistakes at work. I became busy at work that i ended up taking an extremely late lunch. I was pretty happy because i was able to finished my work before the day ended. Then I went to Togisala Shorin Ryu Karate to teach Yoga. I had one student a middle age man. I created my own routine and he enjoyed it the class. I gave him a massage at the end of the class and he said I have a healing and magic hands 

Class went well today and I made someone smile for being in class. My role was that I had fun teaching and learning from others.

Be Absolutely Positive

Means to an end

It has been a while since I update this site. Today I wasn't feeling confident at work and i began messing up. I think because i am conscience of not wanting to make any mistake and I end up messing up. It's because it's I am so worried about it and keep thinking about it. So affirmation is I am confident in my work even thought accounting and I don't go hand in hand. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be better.

What went well is that I was still able to balance my self even thought I left a bit let down by me. My role is that I didn't want that feeling so I had to just let it go and move on.

- Keep laughing -

Handstand

The past few days I have been having difficulties with my handstand. I could not make the connection as to why but I might have been stressed out because i had a speech to give in my group, Toastmaster International. Then I had my first wine tasting with some of my old coworkers. Lastly its because of my interview at MGM. I can not figure out what to do career wise. I love having the freedom but at the same time i am tight on money since I'm unemployed an all. As much as i don't feel anxiety or worried, i think subconsciously I am worried.

However after today, I was able to make handstand against the wall. To add to it I am able to push through my lazy left. When I first tried pushing through my left I was terrified and began feeling anxious but somehow today it came natural. Yay Meeeeh

I choose to find hopeful and optimistic ways to look at this.

Fear of Interview

Today, I went to an interview for a manager position at MGM. I was nervous as ever and i made sure i practiced my handstand before hand. It took me 10 tries before i could get into the wall because i was determine to be able to headstand against the wall. I was calm while i was driving there and once i got to Beverly Hills all the nerves began shooting in my body. No matter how nervous i was i keep my composure and i managed to survived the interview with HR and Director. There is a second round interview with the CFO and COO but that's if i make to the second round, who knows?

After my interview, on my drive home i noticed that i had began singing and dancing in my car. It dawn on me that things that terrifies me give me adrenaline and motivation to do whatever i desire. It was the same feeling when did surfing and zipping in Costa Rica, i felt alive and motivated. Mind you i am afraid of highs.

What Went Well? That i found out that doing things that i fear motivates and makes me feel alive.

What was your Roll? That i became aware and noticed something important about myself.

Find something wonderful about yourself and express it!

100 Happy Days

A friend of mine posted on Facebook "Can you be happy for 100 days?" I decided to take the life changing challage, today is Day 1!

I received a voice-mail from CII (Children Institute Inc.) a place where I volunteer, needs my help tomorrow. I felt important that Dr. Noya called because they need me! Then Jason and i took Link to the dog park. I saw kids playing baseball at the park next door and it made me smile. Then a dog was so excited to be at the park began running vigorously in circle and back and forth and inn circles. This dog's energy radiated that I picked it up. I wanted to run around the park and I was laughing loudly, my emotions was inexplicable. Lastly, I found someone to go to Bikram Yoga and I was her first time and Brittany enjoyed it. With her coming made me more motivated to practice. Thanks Britt!

You can also follow me on Instagram @yogawithmp to see all the pictures and daily updates. See you on the other side.

#100HappyDays #SwtKrzyNSpunkyMerry

Be Happy

Email Part 2

I received a few positive responses to my email, I am grateful for all the replies. A few did not response and I can respect that. I'm sure they aren't sure how to reply to an email like the one I sent.  I'm pretty speechless. 

I was supposed to attend a training to Perfect Day Surf Camp but I decided not to go because I wanted to stay home since I was at my Ex house all week watching our sick dog. I needed some peace of my own and regenerate some positive energy to myself. There is another training in May so I will go then. It feels like a wonderful choice. I called Verizon this morning because I had a question about the Global phone I borrowed for my trip. Nick was very much helpful and saved me some $ on my bills. I stayed home all day and did pretty much nothing.

What went well? When I called Verizon because Nick was so helpful and saved me a few bucks on my bill. He was very thorough and descriptive on the my savings.

What was my role? That I decided to call and that he was very easy to talk with. I love having awesome customer service.

Keep Smiling

The Email...

A few days ago, I sent an email to my family and friends in regards to some changes in my life. I was laid of from my job of seven years, last year. My longest relationship ever had gone south and I ended up moving to an apartment with my youngest brother. I held on to these for months because I thought that they will judge me. But that wasn't the case, I was judging myself for them and made it difficult to myself to share. I'm sure there are chis-me or judgment going around but that's okay, it's not my business. Not telling them were putting a lot of weight on my shoulder and heavy on my chest. I like to be free, light and ready to soar. I am aware  now of not putting myself in that situation ever again. Lesson learned for sure.

What went well that day? I feel free from judging myself and free to move forward in my life's journey. 

What was my role? After my cousin asked if my boyfriend and I split up, there was no hiding it. I needed to confirm the rumors, even though it wasn't a rumor. I let go of the judgment, took a breath and sent my email.

Fly and Soar!

Why begin a blog?

I have been wanting to blog for years, now. But I was afraid to do it because I am not the best writer and grammarian. So a few days ago, my cousin mentioned that I should start blogging. Apparently, I have been inspiring her through my Instagram @Hooponoponolyfstyl. You'll never know who you are inspiring until you start something you enjoy. Since I inspired one person maybe just maybe I may inspire two or three more being and maybe even more.I will blog about my travels local, domestic and international. Blogging is the a way to share my experiences and adventures with others.

Stay Vibrant!!!